mrschriskendall: ”where do you wanna go to dinner?” ”i don’t care” ”ok”
archangelgaybriel: mikerotone: cinnamontoastcrunchchallenge: when i die, my tombstone wont say RIP it will say VIP That’s because they reserved a special place in hell for you yeah the throne
kanyewesticle: do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking
Tops, Bottoms, and men
Coworkers: What's wrong we all know you bend over
Me: Hell no!
Coworker: Eww so that means you do the bending!?!?
Coworker: I didn't want to know that
Me: What you do it too!
Coworker: No, I do it with guys!
Me: Hell I do too!!
yesimbeyonce: I hate solo artists with band names like Marina & The Diamonds Owl City Destiny’s Child
EYE to the ZAK: Okay. I’m feeling good. Hey. I’m... →
boclover: Okay. I’m feeling good. Hey. I’m enjoying myself at my new school, Tarleton State. Not regretting anything and making A’s and doing so well. Why didn’t I go to this school first? Also, drinking and making friends. I actually don’t even try to make friends but people seem to want to be my… I love when my best friend starts drinking and starts getting all emotional...
When my balls stick to the inside of my leg…
nzingas-conquests: chickynyc: iamoceanic: damselxnoire: laugh-addict: man. Dead…..fucking dead. 😂😂😂😂 need to practice for summer ROFLLLLLLLLL lmao!!!!!!!
i bet autocorrect was invented in he’ll
Biology Teacher: So the sperm is surrounded with glucose
student: you mean semen is like sugar?
Biology Teacher: yeah basically
me: doesn't taste like..
The very last Calvin & Hobbes Comic
officialasshole: kingerock288: crying-alone-without-salad: dapenguinninja: lunavere: pbjsandwitch: well this is the definition of messed up i have never gasped at an image so dramatically before NONONONONONONONO!!!!! Why did Satan get to write the last one no but really i just almost cried. not even playing smh
askneppy: multipack: row row row your boat gently away from me Merrily merrily merrily merrily please just fuckin leave
My Brother: Is it illegal to expose yourself to a blind person?
My Brother: Why is it called a building when it's already built?
My Brother: If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
My Brother: When something is shipped by ship it's called cargo, but when something is shipped by car it's called a shipment...
My Brother: If love is blind, then why is lingerie so popular?
My Brother: Why is impediment so hard to say when used to describe someone who has a hard time talking?
My Brother: What's the speed of dark?
Me: -awake forever trying to figure out all the answers-